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Tuesday 19th July 2011

The Murdoch story just gets better and weirder at every turn. The forgetful family and their cohorts were in parliament today, and Murdoch senior is so old now that he seems to have confused the word "humble" with the word "humiliating". "This is the most humiliating day of my life," was what you were aiming for, mate. I don't think you can have a humble day. Whatever the case he doesn't know the meaning of the word humble. Which is a shame because today he is taking part in a "define the meaning of the word "humble" competition". He's not worried though. He thinks he's definitely going to win anyway.
And if only I had thought of originally doing that joke with the word "humble" instead of the word "hubris" then more people might have understood it.
Twitter was keenly following events, though I got a bit bored and started watching Deal or No Deal and so missed the main talking point, when a comedian called Johnnie Marbles attempted to splat Murdoch in the face with a pie made of shaving foam. Although I caught up late, it was interesting to me to see how nearly everyone on Twitter immediately disapproved of the action and called Jonny "a dick". It was pretty much everyone apart from @michaellegge who is so similar to me in every way that I think he might actually be me. I have never seen us both in the same room at the same time. I have seen him in a room. But have been unable to see myself. I think he's me.
Most people seemed to think that it was undignified to try to hit an 80 year old man in the face with some foam, (though personally I don't see that as much of an assault), others thought it would make people sympathetic to the humble billionaire, many seemed to think that the pie would now become the focus of the story and that everyone would forget about all the stuff that had gone on and Murdoch would somehow escape judgement because of a foam pie. A lot of people seemed concerned about the sanctity of parliament and the fact that proceedings would have to be halted.
I didn't really agree much with any of that. From what I had seen of the quite dull questioning it seemed likely to me that the Murdochs were going to get away without any kind of parliamentary punishment (not that that will get them off the hook), so at least this was a comedy attempt at some retribution.
I had really liked the guy who had thrown his shoe at Bush, though that was a more disdainful than comic approach, in an even more serious circumstance - and one that involved real danger and risk to the assailant- and I felt this wasn't entirely dissimilar. I liked the attempt to humiliate, was disappointed that the flan flinger was not more successful and got most of the flan on himself. There was an impressive audacity to the enterprise. Not only had he smuggled in a plate and some shaving foam, he had also presumably managed to make this pie whilst in the room, without anyone wondering what he was doing (or had smuggled it in already made). He had got through what should have been the best security in the world and got within inches of putting some foam on a naughty old man. He was risking certain arrest and possible worse (he got a good slap for his troubles), and whilst it was all a bit pathetic in some ways (which kind of made it more attractive to me), I was surprised that he was being so roundly condemned.
Was this going to distract from the real story? In a minimal and ephemeral way perhaps. Tomorrow's papers would certainly cover it and it might well be the lead in to the story, but that would only last for a day and the proper story would not be going away. In fact you might argue that by doing this, the comedian just drew more attention to the whole saga, rather than detracting from it. If it was front page news surely the people buying the papers would read on and find out what else went on. They weren't just going to stop paying attention the minute there were no custard pies in the story. And if they did then they weren't the kind of people who would ever have been interested in the parliamentary committee anyway.
And whilst it created a flurry of interest it didn't stop the rolling news showing the rest of the questioning, nor more breaking news of the shit-storm getting closer and closer to Cameron. I responded to all the wailing about the pie dominating the story by tweeting "Cameron is running around with a pie right now trying to get someone to nudge it into his face." This story has a lot more in it than a pie and it's going to run and run. But it might be kept more interesting if every now and again someone runs in with a bucket that everyone thinks has water in it, but turns out to be full of confetti. Slapstick has its place in politics and in protest. I don't think Murdoch's age is that relevant and do keep in mind - it was some shaving foam that was poured on to him. I think most 100 year olds could withstand that kind of attack. Plus, it's FUCKING RUPERT MURDOCH. People shouldn't be commiserating that he has some foam on his jacket - they should have been wondering what might have happened if that hadn't been a comedian who had got to him.
Admittedly I have written mainly about the pie here and little about the story, but I am a comedian and thus love custard pies. And it's partly because the politicians didn't manage to get anywhere with the Murdochs and they had plenty of time to pull them apart before the pie hit. It's not like the pie makes us all even now. It's not a pie for a pie here. Don't think the families involved in this will think, "Well I was pretty cross with Murdoch, but now he got some shaving foam on him, we're even." Or the British public will think "Yes that old man did have an awful lot of power and his people did some awful things, but then he got pie on him, so we're even." Or even that the government will think, "But embarrassing that he got pie on him on our watch, let's just forget the whole thing."
So I am going to be the one stand up (apart from Michael Legge who is me as well) who stands up for Johnnie Marbles and say I think that that was quite funny and quite brave and quite impressive. I think more bad people should have ineffectual things thrown at them. Because they will claim to be humble when they're not humble and so it's up to idiots like Marbles to humble and humiliate them, just in case the most powerful people in the country end up doing nothing. If Murdoch gets through all this and saves his arse and his empire then the small amount of pie on his jacket might end up being all we had. And if he gets punished the small amount of pie is not going to do anything to save him.

And if you needed any proof the Michael Legge is me or vice versa - here's his blog on the subject.

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