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Sunday 2nd April 2006

An enjoyable afternoon watching another nine plays from the kids at Scene and Heard. As always fantastic imagination on display, my favourite being a play about a bear and the Madagascan Ocean who initially disliked each other because the bear kept stealing fish, but then got married leading the bear to sing about the fact that his missus was full of fishes. Genius. But my favourite play was I think about the face cloth who wanted to be an archaeologist and a hairy hammer who ends up dying in a Pyramid. All that in just ten minutes. You wish you'd been to see it now don't you? Well funds are low for this brilliant project but you can help ensure their survival by sponsoring this fella who is stupid enough to run the Marathon for them. He's stupid to run the Marathon, not to run it for Scene and Heard. The fact that he is doing it for them makes him clever and cancels out his stupidity.
If you all go and give him a quid that would really help. Go on.
There was an actor in the audience who had been in one of my Edinburgh plays in the later 90s, but I hadn't seen him for a while. When I knew him he was single, I think, but here he was with his son who must have been six or seven. Things like this remind you that time doesn't stand still and just because I haven't moved on in the last seven years other people have. Most of my friends have kids now and hopefully it's something that will happen to me at some point, though like St Augustine I would say to God, not yet (although for opposite ends -"Oh Lord give me chastity, but not yet." That's my kind of saint.
But jokes are my children and books about cocks are my progeny. But can books about cocks hug and kiss you at night? Can episodes of a sit-com about a Little Englander Landlord try to hit tennis balls with badmington racquets and make you laugh? Can a routine about yoghurt kick its brother and sit on tennis nets and shout really loudly and annoy you? No they can't. That is what makes jokes better than children. Can you sell children to Rupert Murdoch in return for money to buy you luxury items? Well you can, but it is frowned upon by some sections of society.

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