I rushed into the lounge where Chris Addison was watching the cricket.
“I don’t believe it!” I exclaimed, “They’ve done it! They’ve washed up the pan! That, my Perrier nominated friend is the power of
Warming Up”
“Twice Perrier nominated friend,” corrected Chris.
“Sorry?”
“I have been nominated for the Perrier Award twice. How many times have you been nominated?”
“I will answer that question with a question, “How many times have you won the Perrier Award?””
“Well, no times….”
“Exactly the same as me! A ha!”
“Well yes, but maybe we should wait til tomorrow and then you can ask me that question again.”
Some of this bit might have only happened in my jealous imagination.
“What have they done and who are they?” asked Chris if we are to be more accurate.
“Fergus and/or Colin. And they have washed up the pan. The scrambled egg pan. That is the power of
Warming Up. They must have read it or someone must have told them.”
“Which pan was it?” asked Chris rather oddly.
“You know which pan. I told you. The scrambled egg pan. The pan with all rotten scrambled eggs in it.”
“Ah… oh,” said Chris.
“What?”
“I thought it was the frying pan that I wasn’t meant to be cleaning. I was making pasta. I cleaned that pan.”
“
You did it?”
“Sorry!” said the shame-faced Perrier nominee.
“Twice Perrier nominee” he corrected, ignoring the fact that that bit wasn’t actually said out loud.
“But if you washed it up then they have won. By doing their washing up for them, the terrorists have won. Now they will know that they need never wash up again, because one of us will do it for them. Even if they are in their homes in London, they will know that we will not be able to bear the thought of dirty pans and will eventually relent and come round and do them for them. Whilst they sit back with their smug young faces and do nothing.
I hate you Chris Addison, in every way.
You may have your double Perrier nomination, but do you have the best room in the flat?
Ah yes you do because I kindly agreed that I would swap rooms with him when your wife came up.
Damn you Addison! Why do you always win. Or at least get nominated.
Also saw Ben MoorÂ’s show this afternoon. ItÂ’s the best he has ever done and to be honest heÂ’s always been really good. So if you get a chance to see it either here or somewhere afterwards then you will not regret it.
