7511/20440
My 56th birthday is hurtling towards me like a train that takes two weeks to arrive and so perhaps inevitably I spent much of the afternoon in the Garden Centre. I have been continuing to try to improve our small space - this morning I cut down the dead part of a big rose plant that had been growing up our kitchen wall. And then the growing part had died and stopped growing. But some new sprigs have grown from the bottom (some of which had been waiting patiently under the decking.
I broke my shears trying to cut through the thick stem, but then cut it off with a saw. The rose was tied to a trellis so the big cut off part was left hanging down above me. I tried to cut the ties with the saw but it didn’t work so I got some scissors which did the job, sending the large dead bit of rose bush falling down on to me, knocking me off my ladder and spearing my hands with its many thorns that I then had to pick up of my paws like a lion would if it had opposable thumbs and no Daniel.
Still felt good about the job I’d done though, but I needed new shears and also wanted to get some grass seed and some more plants to fill some empty pots and some more compost and also to sit in the cafe with all the other old people. I was pretty much the youngest old person there though, so I felt good.
I thought about buying some big tubs to grow vegetables in.
This is how bad it has got.
But I decided against it, so there’s still hope for me.
I liked it there though. I think I might come and spend my days here and make friends with the older old people so I can feel sad when they stop turning up and I know that they are dead.
I spent a good part of the day composing an email about the upcoming RHLSTP tour for the badgers and plussers, giving the secret links and passwords they will need to buy their tickets a day early (tickets for most shows go on sale on Friday at 10am for the non-badger non-plussed scum), knowing that I will have to do the whole thing again tomorrow as I send out the email with the regular links to the non-sub email list, as well as updating the gig guide and tour page and dealing with all the tweets and emails from people who don’t read what time the tickets go on sale or who think they’re subbing but aren’s sure, or who don’t understand that the tickets are only for subscribers for a day or are lonely and want someone to talk to. I wonder if Peter Kay does this himself. Bad example. He’s someone who likes to look after his money so he probably does it himself. Or charges someone for the honour of updating his website. I never quite left the do it yourself level of comedy, both admin and performance, but this is approaching being the kind of tour a proper person off the telly would do, at least in a few venues. I know, however, that I won’t sell those ones out. And I know that as nice as it is to let the people who have supported me get the early tickets that there’s no danger that any of the shows will sell out before Friday. Or, in the most part, for the day of the performance. But despite my low-rent lack of fame I should do OK out of this tour (enough to pay someone to put up my tour dates and sell my merch? Yeah definitely, but I still won’t. Maybe Peter Kay isn’t the only one) and be the envy of the vast majority of my peers in terms of ticket sales (as modest as they might be compared to the 50 or so comedians who might sell out a big theatre tour).
I think I prefer it this way.
Which is lucky because this is the way it’s going to be.
