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International Women’s Day and thank goodness I’ve retired from my stupid marathon tweetathon. I would have had all day to do it, as I was in bed most of the time, but my head was already clouded and painful and I think it might have finished me off. I did a couple, just for old time’s sake. It’s November 19th.
The only downside of stopping (which I did for my own mental health and because I was getting slightly scary crap from more extreme elements on both sides of the divide - uniting meninists and some feminists in hatred of me) is that I am no longer raising money for Refuge. I am proud of the amount raised over the three or four years that I asked for donations - it was an insane. But it had definitely peaked. Though if you feel like marking the occasion with a donation to this fantastic and sadly necessary charity
then head here.
Otherwise I’ve just been lying in bed wondering if I will ever be well again. My sleep has been disturbed by odd dreams and I’ve been waking up in confusion, which as usual feels like the state of mind that might be a constant as I get older. Obsessing over imaginary issues which I can’t quite put my finger on - the one at 1am this morning was something about there being three ways, which troubled me for ages even though I couldn’t figure out what that meant at all. I am glad that it’s only at night time that the anchor to reality occasionally gets dislodged. But it doesn’t help with the exhaustion which I think was the initial cause of this illness hitting me so hard.
Again, I felt like I wasn't so ill that I should cancel a remote book club interview with the impressive Ashley Hickson-Lovence and it was cool to have something to do and it didn't take too much out of me. Ashley wrote his first book on his iPhone on the way to work each day and his second book "Your Show" is a cracking read. He teaches creative writing and I am sure he's very good at that. I found him a very inspiring person to talk to. That interview is out in a few weeks.
Catie is doing an amazing job of keeping everything going, even though she’s far from 100% herself. As the kids were at different activities tonight I had to get in the car and pick up Ernie, but I managed the drive through the snow and completed the task safely. At least I think so. Everything seems like a bit of a fever dream, but I am pretty sure I've seen Ernie running round the house, so I think we made it back.
I hope that I am one day well enough to pay Catie back and that this illness is not going to become my normal that I have to cope with until I die. But at the moment it feels like this is just old age and I will never feel energetic or fit again.
Enjoy your youth whilst you have it, my many young readers.
Joining Jordan Gray on next Monday’s RHLSTP is Eshaan Akbar (sadly Sarah Millican has been ill and had to reschedule some dates in Australia, but she will be back another time).
BOOK HERE. Hopefully I will be fit by then, but as you've seen from the last few days, I will be doing the show whether I am or not. Probably don't snog me after though (this only applies to this one show - I will be snogging the audience as usual from the 20th March onwards).
