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Every now and again the doorbell rings and I go to the door and a man is there saying his tree surgery team just happen to be in the area and would I like them to prune the small tree in my front garden - I wrote about it in the Metro a few months back (I say a few months,but that's over 100 columns ago - Jesus time is flying by). I always decline because, you know, if I wanted my tree to be worked on I would probably call up someone with professional accreditation rather than a bloke who shows up at my door pretending he's working in the area, when he's clearly just driving around and ringing the door bell of anyone with a tree. It's not always the same man, and maybe there are rival gangs of freelance tree surgeons going around (though how much work do they get? This guy was in a team of at least four guys. Are they really getting enough business this way to pay four men's wages? Even though I assume they are cash in hand, even then I can't see it really being a viable way to make a living). Every time one of these men ring my doorbell I tell them that I will never want them to cut my tree, so can they make a note not to call round again. But of course the don't make a note. Or one of the other million rival gangs for this lucrative business come round the next time.
Having just got the baby to sleep - I was looking after her this morning and it had been an early start and a long few hours - and having her woken by the doorbell was annoying. So with more than a little irritation in my voice I told the man that no, I would never want him to work on my tree and could he try to remember that. “Don't talk to me like that!†he came back, as if I was the one who had turned up uninvited at his house, woken his baby and offered him a service that he was unlikely to want. “I'll talk to you how I like in my own house, mate†I replied and chastised him for having disturbed my baby's sleep. He and one of his friends then started shouting at me, so I shouted back at them and wished them good luck in convincing anyone else to employ them if this was their customer relations. Now, I admit, I had been rude to them, but if you're going door to door trying to solicit business from strangers then you can't really expect them all be delighted to see you. I enjoyed his affront at me asking him to leave me alone, but obviously was slightly scared too. There were four of these guys and they were a law until themselves and I had pissed them off. One of them walked past the house a few minutes later and eye-balled me through the window. I flicked the Vs at him. But these mavericks know where I live.
Their lorry drove past the house a couple of times. They came from a company called “London Tree Care†which doesn't seem to have a website for some reason. Just in case I am found beaten to death outside my house then there's a lead for the police. I've already got enough enemies in the area with eggings etc.
But lack of sleep and the stress of caring for my baby (and this wasn't even a full day - I had been in charge from about 7am til 1.30pm did make my temper a lot shorter than it might have been, so I am sorry for hurting that man's feelings. I had still managed to do a bit of prep work for Hercules while Phoebe was sleeping and was feeling quite positive about the show, until I realised I'd really only got about half an hour in and there was a whole heap of complicated stuff to try and edit and then commit to memory. I suspect that this will be the most difficult show and the one most likely to go wrong. I am going to have three back up systems - a basic set list which will let me know broadly what is coming next (which I am certain to have to use), some cue cards that break the sections down a bit more (which I'd be surprised if I didn't need) and then if all else fails, the actual script (though it's not get everything in it, if the worst comes to the worst I can just read out what basically happened next). It's an interesting show and there's a lot of myself in it, though it still remains my least favourite of all my solo work and I think it's over-complicated (especially now I have to learn it) and a little bit flawed. Again there's material for at least six shows in this and as much as I admire my commitment to my art, I was trying to get too much into (certainly) an hour and even a tour show. The 50 dates in 50 days would have made an excellent show in itself, though I like the fact that I was not prepared to mine that experience for comedy too much. It was an enormous commitment for 5 mins of a show. But had I filmed it, or talked about the individual dates in detail or made it more than it was I think it would have changed the tone of what I was doing and the dates would have suffered as a result.
I actually think all this might make it one of the more entertaining shows to come and watch and there's loads in there that is good. If I had a month to prepare I think I could make it into a much better show than it is though.
Still tickets for all remaining shows - worth booking ahead for Happy Now? which is slowly moving towards a sell-out. Here's the link for all shows - spread the word. I think they're all going to be fun in their own way. I am relishing the challenge and still appreciating the whole "not being in Edinburgh or worrying about money or reviews". Still be nice to sell as many tickets as possible though! And remember if you can't make it then you can listen to the first 10 for a tiny amount of money here.
And the RHLSTP with Robin Ince is now up in the usual places
Video
youtube
vimeo
and itunes
Audio
British Comedy Guide and iTunes
And there will be a new 12 shows podcast out on Thursday too!
