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A frustrating day dealing with bureaucracy and automated phone lines, when I really should have been learning my show (though I did a fair amount of work on that and had a much better than expected stumble through Hercules in a pub in Croydon tonight). Firstly BT, who things always seem to go wrong for (not least their broadband service) had charged me for an engineer coming out in May (which they had said would be complimentary). It only took me an hour to get through to the person who could deal with this so that was sorted well. Then I got a letter from Parcelforce asking for tax, plus an unspecified “Clearance charge†for the delivery of a package from America. I have bought my wife a cool birthday gift and having been stung before knew that VAT plus delivery company theft would bump the cost up by 40%, so wasn't surprised by that. But when I tried to pay online I was told that the reference number I was putting in was not recognised - even though it was the one on the letter they had sent me. So I rang instead, but couldn't get through to a person, just an automated message that asked me to enter the reference number, then told me it was wrong, then told me to try again. But it was the number on the letter. I thought I was stuck in a 21st Century logical loop and would never be able to escape. But I've found Twitter a useful way of getting things done (especially if you have 150,000 followers) so asked @parcelforce if there was anything that could be done, unsubtly mentioning that I was looking for a subject for my Metro column. I was, after all, just trying to give them money. They didn't get back to me straight away, so I decided to have another go on the phone, managing to get through to a real person by lying about what my issue was and he quickly sorted it out. Finally the twitter thing paid off and a guy called Jonny offered to help. I said I sorted if and he tweeted "@parcelforce: @Herring1967 I am very sorry about the issues you have had. - Jonny"
As a pathetic joke I replied "Nice, but no need to call me a Jonny. Rude."
Jonny responded "@parcelforce: This would be quite funny if I hadn't been here all day Richard. My name is Jonny by the way."
I felt a bit guilty, though I'd just been trying to make him laugh. “You could've called me Dick†I told him.
He said "No problem Richard, its just been one of those days today. - Jonny"
And suddenly after a day of fighting my way past computers and automated messages it suddenly struck me that I was dealing, for once, with an actual human being. My guess is that working on the parcel force Twitter account makes most days, one of those days. But I wondered if there was anything I could do to cheer Jonny up. Even though his company had somewhat dubiously pocketed eight extra pounds from me, that wasn't Jonny's fault. And anyway, might the response to their money-grubbing be to turn the other cheek and offer them my coat as well. I thought that I would try and send Jonny a drink or some money or a gift, which meant not too subtly finding out where he was based and what his surname was. And what if I could get a few people on my Twitter feed to do the same and over the next few days Jonny got loads of packages delivered (preferably via non-parcelforce delivery companies). In the end I bought a copy of Limmy's book for him from Amazon, as I felt that might cheer him up and hopefully encouraged others to send him something nice as well. It's a totally random act of kindness. He hasn't done anything massively to deserve it, except have a bad day. But imagine how good his next few days will be if he gets dozens or hundreds of small gifts from strangers. If you want to join in send something nice (don't be a dick) to Jonny Hinchcliffe, Parcelforce, 2 Denby Dale Road, Wakefield, West Yorkshire WF1 1AA. It's a joke where you don't get to see the punchline, but imagining the punchline is sort of more fun.
And whilst you're in a generous mood, we've set up a kickstarter to fund the video of the next series of RHLSTP. We're shooting two more episodes and have a few more expenses and have remembered about the VAT this time, so we need £50,000 in the next 30 days. I am really hoping we can do this by a different 1500 listeners/viewers giving a smallish amount each, so if you gave last time, don't feel you have to give again (though you can if you like).There are some really nice rewards, if you can give a bit more, but we only need 5000 of the 150,000 listeners to get a badge each (and pay 50p per podcast) and we'd make the target. And just giving a pound will be a help. I'd love to fund this myself but alas I am not rich enough to afford to spend £80,000 + a year putting together these videos, but it's a lovely thought that if everyone who listens gives a small amount we can keep them going. If we don't make the target then we'll have to have a think about what we do, but the free audio will continue regardless. So if you can bung us a few quid then great, but if not, we will only lose our vision.
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And episode 3 of The Twelve Shows of Herring Podcast is up too.
