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It’s been a while since I’ve been in the 6Music studio. Long enough that I had sort of forgotten where it was, or at least which floor of the building. But today I was on the Lauren Laverne show to publicise the tour and I ended up sitting in the exact same seat (well at least the seat was in the same place) that I sat in the old Collins and Herring shows which finished nearly five years ago (blimey). It didn’t feel too weird and it was nice to be back. Shame that particular door shut.
Lauren is a great interviewer, knowing not to ask the obvious questions, but not having to resort to gimmicky emergency questions like some people (though it turns out she has seen a ghost) and we got into quite philosophical territory, though I mainly insisted that my comedy isn’t just about my baby, whilst constantly talking about my baby. I didn’t even get on to sex with robots or my new idea, in the light of the return of Robot Wars , to host a show called Robot Whores, in which I have sex with lots of robots. It’s a bit like a Top Gear of robot sex, except I actually have sex with the things that I am reviewing, rather than just wishing I was having sex with them. Also I will be double-teaming the robots with Richard Hammond.
It was a day of going to places that I haven’t been to for a while. After lunch I had my hair cut for the first time in months, opting to go quite short again, like I did this time last year. Which is fine, except that the hair underneath the long hair is much greyer for some reason.
Then I went swimming for the first time in over six months, but at the gym I used to go to all the time, but haven’t been to in ages. I joined that gym in 2003 and went there regularly and irregularly over the next ten years. It made no difference. I never got fit. Or if I did I got unfit again. And I felt very unfit today as unused muscles protested about being brought into action again. There’s an old grey haired man who has been swimming in that pool (on and off) since I joined the gym. He swims both vigorously and slowly which is quite an achievement. He wasn’t there today, but it stuck me that I am probably as old now as he was in 2003. I am the old, grey-haired man for the new generation. He wasn’t there today. Maybe he was always me. In a water version of Fight Club.
All the lengths I have swum in that pool and for what? To be there again in 2016 with hurty arms? Nice to be back though and to be trying again.
Here’s this week’s Metro column. For the first time a man on the tube saw me as he was reading it and told me he liked it.
RHLSTP with Hal Cruttenden is now up.
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To buy tickets for the next series, go here.
