5188/18108
Ah, back in the lap of my loving family. But they are both just and tired and ill as me and don't care about my exciting showbiz life. So thrown right back into it, even though I didn't feel alert enough to be in charge of a food mixer, let alone a human child. My daughter was casual about my return (even though I am told she had been asking about me when I was away) and we were straight off to her football class this morning. Even though she was ill too, she was her usual fizzing bundle of energy and only flagged a little towards the end. But being away from my family makes me realise how lucky I am to be with her even when she gets mildly grumpy. And luckily she's usually very chipper, which is an extra tonic.
Neither parenthood or my career allow me to take a break for anything but the most debilitating illness. And the mild lurgy I have now (exacerbated by lack of sleep) is by no means enough to justify taking any time off. I long to catch a proper illness which will mean I have to rest up in bed for a fortnight, or for death so I can sleep for all eternity. But just my luck I get something that makes me feel lousy, but allows this whole ridiculous pantomime to continue.
I did manage a quick 45 minute sleep and a bit more work in the afternoon, before resuming fatherly duties. Though I forgot that she needed her dinner at 5. But was reminded by 5.20, so she didn't die. I don't think I have ever been happier in my life than when my daughter sits next to me, with her arm resting against me, while we watch TV together. But post-bath we now pull funny faces at each other in the bathroom mirror and that's pretty cool too. Making her laugh is obviously the best laugh I ever get. She's no pushover, but I think she's starting to realise that I have my uses. Even if most of the uses are to be able to gurn.
She is two on Friday, which is terrifying, but so is the fact that if you ask her how old she is she holds up two fingers (not like that) and says “twoâ€. It's whizzing by and even after a couple of days away I notice all kinds of changes in her. But for all the terror and viruses and sleeplessness, this has been the best two years of my life. And thanks to my amazing wife (who I have never had a cross word with in all our years together, apart from all the ones we shout at each other when we're exhausted) my forties have been the best decade of my life. It's all down to her that my daughter is turning out so well. All I do is teach Phoebe to be naughty, watch TV with her and forget to feed her. But I guess those are important life lessons too.
Support the live stuff if you can. It means I can keep churning out the free stuff and not let my daughter starve (or if she does it's only because I forget to feed her).
