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I got told off by my 5 year old today. And she was 100% right.
We’ve been playing a game on our devices over the last few weeks. It’s a Candy Crush style one where you have to clear grids of objects. You can pay to buy extra lives and bombs and stuff and though I thought I’d never be that kind of person I’ve occasionally done it to clear a difficult level. I am thus miles ahead of my stupid daughter, who hasn’t even got 99p to buy 1000 coins, the idiot.
I have definitely been playing it too much, but figure that it’s better and cheaper than playing poker and by clearing my mind with stuff like this I find that it doesn’t actually help with work (even though I sometimes waste a few hours on it).
She had been at her nana’s house, but on her return strode into the kitchen to confront me. I think she assumed I’d be playing the game (though I was actually reading a book, partly because I am sick at myself for wasting time on pointless games). “Daddy,” she said, “You are playing that game much too much and now you’ve started spending money on it. You have to delete the game. It’s not good for you.” I don’t know where she got this burst of maturity and umbrage from - she’s been asking to play the game with me for ages and it’s been a nice way for us to connect. I don’t think anyone has told her off for something similar either - her device time is limited pretty strictly. It made me laugh to be chastised, especially as it felt like she’d been preparing for this and rehearsing her lines and wasn’t put off by the fact that I was reading a book.
I laughed at her turning into my mum, but also was impressed. Mainly though I thought, Christ, if she thinks that then I really have to do something about this. She was correct. What a waste of time and to a lesser extent money. I suspect there will be a lot more of this kind of thing to come, but it’s crazy how quickly kids go from non-speaking idiots into thinking, judgemental and sophisticated thinkers. This girl is a force of nature. I thought she’d be at least 8 before she would be teaching me anything.
I had to ask her mum if she’d put her up to it, but her mum knew nothing about any of it.
I had been admonished. I can’t remember the last time I was admonished.
Had a bit of a nightmare with the tech on tonight’s self-playing snooker and having a beer and a half didn’t help. This was the gloriously shoddy snooker of old and we finally know the full line-up for the winter tourney proper.
Watch here.
