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Tuesday 8th February 2022

7008/19528

Another long day with multiple emotions, that ended up with me dancing topless in a basement (it was part of the acting job, I am not trying to earn some extra money with a second job - luckily). Although I was at the centre of the dancing, I was much less at the centre of the action today. I spent about an hour waiting for some of the other characters to knock on the door. I was sort of working (I was ready for the doorbell to ring), but mainly sitting around eating Haribo whilst the other actors improvised outside.
It was a bit risky as the doorbell could ring any minute and whilst I could technically answer it with a mouth full of sweets, it probably wouldn't make for a brilliant take. The first sweet I nicked was the biggest risk and the door bell rang just as I had chewed it about four times. I had to try and get rid of the sweety mush and so put it in my back pocket as I walked to the door. It turned out that it was just the Assistant Director coming back in to get something. I then had to fish out the sticky mess from my suit trouser pocket. Which wasn't very nice. And should have taught me a lesson. But it just made the dangerous game of eating chews all the sweeter (pun intended).
Acting is a weird mix of stress and boredom and exhaustion and I don't think I would like to do it for more than two weeks at a time. It's not the hardest job in the world, but it wears you down and though we're having fun I feel battered already. 
And I don't like being away from the family for too long. I have facetimed a little, but the connection has been patchy. I told my daughter that I was in a mansion in Wales and she said, “Are you rich now?” And I told her that I was and that I had a new family now. This didn't seem to upset the kids. Ernie just asked if he could see the new family, like it'd be cool to have some more people to meet, not at all concerned that his dad had moved out.
There's been a little off screen drama but that's drawn the cast closer together. It's harder as well because we're shooting stuff out of order due to availabilities so in some scenes we don't really know what has happened yet, but having seen (and been in) the director's other work, I know this seemingly chaotic approach does bear fruit, but it's tough work for everyone, especially the crew who are working flat out and don't get to sit eating Haribo waiting for the doorbell to ring.
Our meal times are at bizarre times. Today breakfast was at midday (even though I'd been up since seven), lunch at 6.30pm and dinner at half past midnight. Always good to get some downtime to talk with the cast, though the subject matter was a bit dark today: Jimmy Carr's Holocaust joke, a footballer using a cat as a footballer and the female actors' experiences with dodgy/sexist producers. It was not a surprise that they all had a story, but it was a bit of a shock to hear that at least one of the instances involved the director of a show that is being currently filmed. You'd think the bullies and pests would by lying low, but I guess people who abuse power all think they are immune to being caught out. 
Lots of laughs too and plenty of madness. Some of it actually caught on camera. God knows what we're making, but so far the partial nudity has been exceptionally beautiful. I would only do topless work if the script demanded it. Or if there wasn't a script and the director just told me I had to. I did start to take my trousers off too, but he actually stopped me doing that. I guess he doesn't want the film to be that sexy.


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