Warming Up

The kids are back at school and I maybe have a shot at pushing on with the book. I've done about 44,000 of the 80,000 words now and think I might be able to get to the end of my story by Friday if things go well. That won't be 80,000 words but I have ideas for other content. It's shaping up nicely, I think.

It's a weird experience as I am actively enjoying writing it, even if every now I am getting stuck or distracted (hence the slow progress this month). Usually writing is painfully at least to start with, but maybe there's something cathartic about this one and maybe I need to go back over last year and process it. I haven't yet collapsed as the emotion finally hits me and the whole year still just feels like a weird and interesting thing that happened to me, that gave me some pointers on where my priorities lie.

I am enjoying family life. I am trying to get back on track with the fitness regime. I am not taking life for granted. I'm not as scared of dying as I was, but equally keen to hang around for another 10,000 days if I can. Might as well make it 13000 so I get to the 20,000th Warming Up entry.

As I dropped the kids off today and Ernie ran past her with his hair sticking up (even though we'd brushed it) and one trouser leg halfway up his leg, the Head teacher asked me if I was glad to have the kids back at school. There's a part of me that is, of course, but they're so much fun right now that I'd be happy to hang around with them all the time. Tonight when the kids were both vying for their mum to put them to bed (as usual) I said, “Why don't you want your dad? I'm the fun one. I'm the funny one. I'm the soft one who lets you get away with stuff.”

“Don't say that in front of mummy,” said Phoebe, as if my lack of strictness was a secret. But she was winking at it. 

I am blown away but how quickly kids change and how their smartness increases in these incredible spurts. Phoebe can read so well and has changed over to using the adult version of the alphabet in what feels like overnight. Ernie is still this angelic looking demon of a 4 year old. I look at his sweet face and think about how much I will miss this version of him when he's older. But I think I thought that about Phoebe too. And the new version is even better. Being a dad is definitely the best of the things I am. It's not for everyone and there are certainly some people who are dad who probably shouldn't have been. But it works for me. I am glad I didn't miss out on it. I easily could have. It's crazy that I left it so late, but then these two miracles wouldn't be here if I'd done it sooner. Obviously I also slaughtered infinite potential miracles (and probably a few wankers) by failing to breed earlier. If I'd had kids with my first girlfriend our kids would be nearly 40 by now. Also though they would be the first children born to a virgin in 2000 years. And probably the first kids born to two virgins.

Yeah sure, the world is falling apart and we might be getting over Covid (or not) and stepping into a World War instead and that will just push forwards the timetable for global warming. But I am still glad I have this family. I have lived a lucky life (maybe the luckiest) free of any real hardships and I wish my kids could have the same. I don't think it can possibly be as cushy. But on the plus side, they had iPads (as kids) and so they maybe win.

A couple more guest slots have been filled for the new series of RHLSTP. Badgers, head to the members' area at rhlstp.co.uk for details. The rest of you can either wait a couple of days or become a badger here.