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Tuesday 16th August 2022


Brodick. My Brodick. 
We lunched in Brodick after a morning of looking for shells and weird sea creatures whilst the tide was out. 
Brodick was not very familiar and the sea front was rocky, which wasn’t my memory, but I could see sand on the beach on the other side, so that must be where I played with my soldiers, in the shadow of Goat Fell. 
We ate some ice cream and played mini golf and it felt like we’d done enough for our first full day, so we got some groceries and came home to watch a film and eat popcorn.
Highlight of the day was a game of charades before bed time in which Ernie, who doesn’t really understand the game, just did surreal impressions of us all, whilst pulling down his pyjama bottoms and showing us his bum and bits. Obviously I immediately took to Twitter to get him cancelled. And luckily backed up by loads of people who though they’d never seen Ernie’s act, felt strongly that such behaviour was never appropriate. 
His over the top madness was very funny. Boldly he took on his mum first, as she was a bit tired already weary of his antics and a lesser comedian might have played safe and gone for a crowd pleasing impression of his dad. But somehow everyone, even Catie found the anatomically incorrect impression very amusing. 
On his next turn he did me and though some of the routine was the familiar stuff about showing his bum, he picked up a cushion and said “I’m daddy. I am taking a shower.” Rubbing the cushion against his body he said “This is my giant soap.” Honestly that could have been in Who’s Line Is It Anyway? Right off the top of his head. He did some weird things with a toy penguin that was in the room - hopefully the owners will never find out. And then he attempted to tell the story of the Smartest Giant in Town by Julia Donaldson, from memory, based on seeing it once last week. It was a bit like my Joseph musical idea (where the show is performed by two people who are not allowed to look at any scripts and must do the whole thing from memory and one of them doesn’t know the show at all), but he got through it.
He is basically a tiny version of me, a clone of the boy who visited Arran fifty years ago. I am both sorry for my family and think I should have been charging them an entry fee if I was this funny.
Catie and I had our first bit of time together for a fortnight. We watched Better Call Saul. I had actually watched all but the finale on the nights when she was working and I was looking after the kids, so I had to rewatch the third last episode, but didn’t mind. But looks like it will be at least a couple of nights before I find out what happens. I’d thought of not telling Catie that I’d watched the show without her, but I can’t have a relationship built on lies.

I forgot to mention that an excellent RHLSTP with Indian stand up and actor, Vir Das went up yesterday. His Edinburgh show is fabulous and this was a terrific chat too. 

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