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Rupert Murdoch is single again. Didn’t think I’d ever get a chance again, let alone so soon. All my orifices are ready for you Rupe. Billion up front.
Kids club is closed on Wednesday, so we had to look after our own kids ALL DAY. Every reward must come with a punishment.
I’m joking. No parent loves their kids more than I do. I don’t love them very much, but the statement still holds true.
I’m joking. Truth is that as nice as yesterday was and as cool as it is to have a Kids Club, I wouldn’t want them in there all the time. Not only is this a family holiday, but all my childhood, as the youngest kid by some distance, I pined for holidays with some younger siblings. No doubt the reason I have stayed in arrested development for so long is because I was a lonely child who played snooker and Subbuteo against himself. But now, just forty to fifty years too late I have some playmates. Some playmates that I made myself (with a tiny bit of help) and now I finally get to play with them. We went to the stony beach and explored a little rocky cliff at the end of the sand looking for caves. Ernie thought the Loch Ness Monster might lie in there. I said if so then it was a long way from home, but he suspected there was a secret tunnel that led from the cave (if there was one) to Loch Ness and that would certainly explain how Nessie has remained so elusive.
We didn’t find a cave.
Then we splashed around in the sea, jumping waves. Or the kids do. I may like playing but I am not stupid.
We went for a walk round the hotel and found a secret broken path around the perimeter that we thought might lead somewhere exciting, but it just led downhill to some bushes. And we had to walk back up again.
It’s still the most exciting part of the holiday and the only bit that’s felt a bit risky and I think will be the only thing I remember.
I tried to teach Ernie ping pong and marvelled at how much Phoebe has improved at the game in just four or five days. I thought about buying a ping pong table, mainly for me if I am honest, though not sure we have anywhere to put it. I got pretty good at table tennis as a kid and some of the old reactions are still there. Now I have two new opponents to crush. Impressively to begin with, and then quite quickly with much more difficulty, until finally they are able to defeat me. Phoebe is already to determine to do her serves six feet away from the table, like an Olympic champion, even though I don’t think she’s ever seen anyone do that.
