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Is there anything worse than a blase dentist?
Yes, of course, but it's annoying.
Catie had organised dentist appointments for us all at 9.30am. Obvioulsy we had to take the kids to school late for this to work and I was also prepping for tonight's show. Ernie also had a last minute appointment at the GP at 10.20, so we couldn't mess around (the dentist is in Hitchin and the doctor is in our village).
We set off early, in separate cars so that Ernie and Catie could shoot off first. But we got to Hitchin in time for me to quickly pop into M and S for some groceries. We were a well-oiled machine.
You can't park in the road the dentist is on between 10 and 11am, to deter commuters from parking there for free, but I thought we'd be done in time so didn't go the car park.
And Phoebe and me were there just before 9.30 and Catie and Ernie were there already. The only problem was that the dentist was not. He lived in London and was still on his way. The receptionist told us this in a manner that suggested that he often didn't show up in time for the first appointment. Which must be nice for him, but it rather disrupted our day. If I was a dentist I'd live in the same house as my dentist shop, or at least the same town. And I guess I live 25 miles away I might schedule my first appointment for a time I could realistically make.
But Catie and Ernie couldn't wait beyond 9.55 and I didn't really want to and would have to move the car if I did.
The dentist rolled in at about 10.10am. Ernie and Catie were long gone (of course they had to wait 20 minutes beyond their appointment time at the GPs, but they still would have been in trouble if it was them who had been late). Phoebe and me got to see the elusive dentist. He was quite mumbly and I think he half-heartedly apologised, but I'm not sure. He did something to one of my teeth but he was mumbly so I don't know what it was. Meanwhile our day was being eaten away.
I dropped Phoebe at school and Ernie had a temperature so took the day off, but I had limited time to prepare for tonight.
Luckily I'd done a bit already and there were plenty of things to talk to the guests about and though the theatre wasn't even half full, the people who turned up were amazing and it sounded like it was packed. Simon Farnaby has lived such a life and talked very openly about his triumphs and disasters (that one is out on Friday) and Sooz Kempner and I were very indiscrete and so even though that podcast is out in February, a lot of it won't be! Farnaby would also be an excellent blase dentist for the sitcom I am going to write now.
These tour shows are fizzling and I am really loving doing this show. I have never not liked it in the 11 years since it began, but I bang on super love it at the moment. So thanks to everyone who has come so far.
Chris Evans (not that one) has printed a very limited run of The Box Lady and other Pesticles, (seriously only 100) so if you missed out when it came out,
BUY IT NOW. 
