7706/20645
We divided to be both defeated separately today with me taking Phoebe to football and Catie taking Ernie to a party. It is actually really fun to only have to look after one kid as most of parenting two is about stopping them murdering each other. The football match was a lot of fun and Phoebe was a brick wall in defence. The other team was clearly miles better than ours, but they couldn't get through to the goal and somehow at half time we were 1-0 up. The coach moved the players around so everyone got a go everywhere, but we weren't quite as strong in the second half and ended up losing 4-1 - the right team won, but the margin was greater than was fair. It didn't matter though. It was definitely better than watching York City lose and no one was sick in the stands (though I did knock over one of the mum's hot chocolate).
On the way to football I came up with a great dad joke, that I workshopped for the journey even though Phoebe didn't find it funny the first time. I had been saying she probably wouldn't need to learn to drive because cars would be automated in ten years and she said there'd be flying cars by then. "I can't see them taking off" I told her.
Obviously I won't be the first for that one, and this kind of joke would always have left me cold in the past, as it did with Phoebe (Ernie might have liked it, but only if I'd said "I can't see them doing a poo!"), but I now see that the only reason a dad joke is funny is because it always fails to get a laugh. The more you hammer it into the ground (and I worked on it for 5 minutes) the better it is. Stewart Lee is essentially just the most persistent dad joke teller in the world. It's fun for the dad to know that his joke is never going to work, it's fun for the kid to act superior, it's fun for the only laughter to come from the person telling the joke.
Then to the supermarket, where I entirely failed to stop Phoebe putting anything she wanted in the trolley, but she was being really helpful. She's started to understand the concept of getting money for doing chores and has somehow accrued £94 in cash in her life and was desperate to get to £100. I don't know why- she never spends her own money, hence the nice little nest egg, So when we got home we tidied up the house and she did an amazing job for which she earned £3. Oh yes, this works both ways. But we were a team and having fun together as Phoebe could live out her dream life where her brother was never born.
I seemed to have my energy back today, but Catie was feeling bad again and so the cycle goes on until this kills one of us.
The others got back- Ernie had managed to pilfer some sweets from the party for Phoebe and Phoebe had bought him a biscuit from the supermarket (mainly so she could get one for herself, but still), so they love each other really. Things are definitely easier with one, especially if that one isn't Ernie. But I felt particularly happy to be connecting with my daughter, who has always been a tough nut to crack. We have lots of fun and I know she likes me underneath it all, but she hides it well. Today we felt like a team, albeit one where the older member does whatever the younger one wants and lets them eat too much chocolate.
After the others were in bed Phoebe and me stayed up a bit late and did sudokus together, which is pretty much my ideal relationship. She was reluctant to accept advice as we tackled a 9 number puzzle, but together we won, even if she sometimes took the long way round to arrive at the number and sometimes wanted to just guess one. This is what having kids was for.
