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Record Dry January saw people saving £118 on average. £118? These people were basically not drinking before if that's all they saved. I've done four dry Januarys in a row (plus all the months in between) and I have saved £967,000.
I tweeted a version of this joke and it's had over 300,000 views which is extraordinary for Twitter (especially these days). I think the website is basically useless as a promotional tool now, but good to know it's a vehicle for middle-of-the-road comedy material.
Into town this morning (that's Hitchin, not London) to meet up with my tour manager for the stand up tour and get my hair cut (not by him). I also did a supermarket shop but reverted to the conveyor belt and check out person rather than the self scan. I will NEVER change.
Tonight Phoebe and me watched some Futurama once Ernie was in bed. Phoebe came and sat next to me and we shared a blanket and had a cuddle. This should be pretty normal behaviour for a father and daughter, but it's hardly ever happened in our nearly nine years together. I nearly cried. Stockholm Syndrome all the way. When she went to bed she said she'd just done it to keep warm. Which ironically was pretty cold. But I don't think it was entirely true. How terrible it is to love someone so absolutely regardless of the disdain they have for you. How amazing too.
I don't mind just being a hot water bottle.
It's her birthday in 10 days. She's halfway to being an adult. Absolutely crazy. Think this might all be a dream I'm having in the cab on the way to hospital in 2015. For all our sakes let's hope so. I can stop Brexit!
Phoebe's also seen proof online that some people saw Santa's sleigh in the sky at Christmas, so she's back in the believer camp. Well done internet. Though it was also the internet that made her doubt it, so bad internet. Almost like it's not the internet but the people using it. It's always those people. They'll find a way whatever the medium.
More RHLSTP guest news. Rosie Jones will be joining me on 12th Feb at the Leicester Sq Theatre and The Exploding Heads will guest in Bedford on 15th Feb. Just 8 more guest slots to fill now and that's all the line-ups for February completed (barring illness/death or people forgetting that they're doing it).
Book here.
I am heading out on the road with the Can I Have My Ball Back? tour and as always I'd like to raise some money for charity with the show. So I am doing another programme, (this time for Movember) BUT to save trees and me having to lug boxes round the country I am doing a VIRTUAL programme online.
EXCITINGLY you can get your name in that programme if you donate £15 or more (the more you donate the bigger your name will appear). If you leave an email address I will email you a link to the programme regardless of how much you donate.
Even more excitingly you can get an actual physical SIGNED and numbered copy (the highest donation will get programme number 1 and so on) of that programme printed up and posted to you if you donate £25 or more (and then email me your address to
herring1967@gmail.com). Normally there are 1000s of physical programmes but this time there will be (probably) fewer than 100 (depends how many people donate). So it will be a collector's item.
I'll cover postage and printing and design costs so all your donation will go to Movember.
NB WHATEVER NAME YOU USE FOR THE DONATION WILL BE THE NAME IN THE PROGRAMME
Thanks to everyone who has got involved so far. We raised over £1000 in the first three or four hours. If we can keep that rate up then we will make millions and there will be as many printed programmes as usual!
