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I found myself rather emotional today and came pretty close to blubbing on TV. I just about held it together. It's a combination of factors, including working too hard, doing better than I expected I would and missing my family. But over the last 24 hours this disparate group of celebrities who mainly had very little in common and most of whom I'd never met before have found even more in common and bonded into an even tighter unit and opened up about our vulnerabilities.
It's quite a big thing for some of these people to wear their hearts on their sleeves as they are aware that newspapers would pay for any personal stories, so it shows how much we trust each other that we all opened up. Obviously I am not going to divulge anything to you idiots, though will be giving a full run down to all paid subscribers on Substack......
Hopefully that will trick a few of you into finally parting with some cash. Of course I am not doing that… or am I?
No. But maybe I am secretly. Only one way to find out.
My own revelations are available in all good book shops and very soon as a stand up special download, as I discussed my cancer (which I don't like to talk about, so you can imagine how hard this was for me). The others, all so confident and successful, have surprising vulnerabilities and outrageous stories of bad treatment/experiences. Like you, I am sceptical when people on TV shows talk about their journey and their bond with H from Steps who they've only just met (sadly H is not one of the celebrities on the show), but we've been through something mildly tough and now emotional together and I am really surprised at how well we're coping and getting on.
So surprised that I was not really able to answer questions for a bit because my bottom lip was wobbling and I was in serious danger of losing the impenetrable hard man image that has got me so far in the career.
This has been one Hell of a month. For once I have to keep the experience to myself. Imagine how weird that is for me. It involves fire and a footballer and tears and my cat Oscar. That's about as far as we've got.
Something I can talk about is how I look on screen. For continuity purposes for the couple of episodes we've been doing this week, I have had to be clean shaven for the longest time in living memory. I very occasionally shave, usually on holiday, but I can't remember the last time I shaved every day for a week. Not only does it allow me to view my neck vagina but it's also slightly disconcerting. Especially in tandem with the fact that the wonderful make-up team are puffing up my hair, like Rik from the Young Ones when he becomes rich, in order to keep it out of my eyes for the filming.
I look, as many older men with hair tend to, like a elderly woman. Or the brother of the lead character in The Power of Parker. Someone has already commented on Substack that I look like their mum.
It's a tough thing to accept that my days of being an impenetrable hard man and sex symbol may almost be over. Luckily growing a bit of a beard hides a lot of the flaws (and allows me to do ventriloquism without a wobbling turkey neck) so I will be glad when I can put my razor blades away again.
