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So far leaving logging off from Twitter has not reduced my screen time. Is a life lived attached to a device really worse than one without? All those people throughout human history who couldn't just check how York City were getting on every 45 seconds and you're saying they had a better life than me? How did they pass their time? How did I pass my time in the 20th Century. If anything I was less social than I am now. If I'd had a way to connect with everyone in the world at the touch of a screen back then then I think I would have had a much happier time.
Anyway, I do want to try and find a bit more balance to my life. He says, whilst typing words on to a screen, that he will then put on the internet. Though only my mum, my parents-in-law and my manager read this, so it probably keeps me more in content with the important people in my life than I would have been in a time before computers. At least they know what I am up to. Or more succinctly what I am not up to. I continue to do almost nothing. Though I did finish an introduction to my new book/podcast today, so shut up.
I've felt my whole life like I am waiting for something to happen. It's just round the corner. My time is coming. Something amazing is just out of reach. I mean, it's taking its time. I know how the Christians must be feeling waiting for Jesus now. He said he'd return in the lifetime of the people listening to him and yet the Christians still wait. Imagine if he came back and no one noticed. Let's face it, if he turned up in America today he'd be ICEd out of that place as quickly as you could turn water into wine and his supposed followers would be shouting good riddance, you immigrant scum. Go back to Heaven where you came from.
Look just because the momentous thing in my life hasn't happened yet, I am still sure it's on the horizon. I know my life has been amazingly fortunate and comfortable and I've got a family who put up with me and I am possibly the luckiest human that has ever lived, but that's not it. There's something amazing coming. I have always felt it. Like those people who win the lottery and always knew they would. There's loads of those that still have to win the lottery of course, but they know they will and when they do they can say "I knew I'd win this". I'm one of them. I know I'll win it one day. Sooner rather than later please. Knowing my luck I'll win it the day before the world ends and I won't have time to cash the cheque. But at least I'll have been proven right. I knew I'd win and I did.
Just like I know something is coming for me. I don't even have to work for it or network or get my face out there or be one of those careerist pricks who works the system to get what they want. I don't even have to ask the Universe to manifest my dreams or properly define what my dreams are. The thing, whatever it is, will just happen. Someone will realise how amazing I am and then the thing I deserve will occur and I'll be proven right and then I'll win the lottery and then my wife will admit that I was right about everything and she should never have tried to disagree with me about anything.
There is no way that as I die I will look back on my life and realise the amazing thing was happening to me all along and I just didn't notice. Just as no religious person will realise that as life ebbs away from them that just being alive was the impossible miracle and that they were already in Heaven and now they're about to leave forever and return to the void from whence they came.
I thank God there is no Heaven. I'd feel really embarrassed having to explain how I wasted this impossible opportunity. Melting into endless, senseless oblivion is by far the best option.
Shit, this is just day one without Twitter.
I'm kidding. My life is perfect. Leave me alone. I don't want anything else to happen.
