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We went to a little music concert at the kids' school today, in which Ernie would be giving his Fur Elise on the piano. These kinds of things always fill you with a bit of dread, because usually as much as it's lovely to see your own kid perform (even if it sounds like they're torturing a cat), you have less skin in the game (literally) when it comes to other people's kids being bad on musical instruments.
Phoebe had to come and watch too and she doesn't even have any feelings of affection for Ernie and she was probably more cynical than me.
I am maybe getting soft in my old age, but I actually really enjoyed all of it. Some musicians were more adept than others, but this was about giving kids a chance to perform in front of a small audience and it was lovely to be there at the start. This was like seeing the Quarrymen on the back of that cart at that fete.
Maybe better.
Ernie has a real aptitude for the keyboard and played his piece with one finger, but without any sheet music and it was pretty much bang on. He is a show off and did his usual effusive bowing and saying "you're so kind, thanks so much" even when everyone was being applauded. I asked him if he'd been nervous and he said he had not, but then admitted to having butterflies in his stomach, but he is, like someone else in the family, almost happier and more himself on stage than off.
Other kids did not take so easily to doing their thing in front of people they didn't know, but all gave it a good go. The cutest one was a Year One girl who was very reluctant to even step in front of us. She was cajoled and accompanied by a friend who had just done a cracking performance of "Sometimes You Have To Be A Little Bit Naughty" from Matilda. The nervous girl sat frozen to her chair as her friend persuaded her to stand up and then edge towards the piano. People have gone to executions less hesitantly than this and with less fear on their face.
However slow you’re imagining her going is too fast. A snail would be looking at their watch and pulling a face.
The audience, being human beings, was full of empathy and understanding and perhaps for some memories of their own personal Viet Nam. The fact that her friend was there encouraging her, made it all the more emotional and charming.
I was far from sure that she'd get to the piano, let alone perform anything, but she got on to the piano stool and her friend sat with her.... but disaster. They realised she'd forgotten to bring her book with her. How could she play without the music?
Luckily another performer had the same book and their copy was spirited across to the piano.
The teacher introduced the girl who was too scared to say her name and the piece which was called something like "Introducing E".
After all this the piece she was going to play was entirely on that one note, though she read the music perfectly and some Es were longer than others. I mean, I am guessing. I couldn't see the sheet music, but the notes were different lengths.
It was a masterful bit of real life comedy, perfectly weighted - the fear, the loss of the sheet music, the recovery and then it being the simplest tune possible. It was a triumph.
Yet as funny as this was, no one was laughing, certainly not at her. She'd done something truly amazing. We were in awe.
She then played a second tune, which was very similar but this time concentrating on the note F.
If this was a comedy sketch I'd have said that was laying it on a bit and milking the humour, but as it was real life she got another big round of applause, at which she look bewildered, possibly with good reason from her point of view.
That's it though. That's the first, terrified, shuffle into showbusiness. I don't think she enjoyed herself and I doubt very much that she will have a career as a pianist (everyone has to start everywhere, but Mozart was writing and performing Minuets at this age), but what an important moment in her life. One she might remember forever and possibly need therapy for. But the greatest possible art as it spoke of what it means to be human.
Touching, terrifying, unpredictable and hilarious. And she absolutely nailed the one note pieces. And I was more moved and enlivened than by any art work I've seen from a professional production recently.
I don't know who wrote Introduction to E or Hello E or Let's Have Some E or whatever it's called, but I wish they could have seen the effect their piece was having.
I am sure Tim Minchin has seen enough good and bad performances of his work to be slightly jaded towards seeing another, but if I had been him I'd have been very happy to have created the work that the more confident girl had got through mainly in tune and with hardly forgetting any words. And she really got the spirit of that brilliant song (which I do love). Phoebe has a poster with"Sometimes You Have To Be A Little Bit Naughty" on her bedroom wall, though she didn't seem moved by the performance and was annoyed she had to be here. Though quietly not enjoying a performance of this song is very much in the spirit of the work.
Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty.
Probably the worst Newsround yet (and there's some stiff competition) went up today.
Watch it here. 
