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I was feeling a bit more normal today. I've got a sore eye, though I don't know how that happened Otherwise my energy is returning a bit and I actually stayed up til midnight obsessively playing Civilisation II, like it was a weekend in Clapham in 1997 and I was stuck in my flat with no friends.
Best days of my life.
At one point I felt like going for a run, but decided that might be foolish given the heat and the fact I am still recovering from treatment. It's nice to be bouncing back like an Alan Partridge.
And a thought struck me that I hadn't really considered. Maybe getting treated for blood cancer might actually make me feel better.
That seems an insane thing to realise, but I hadn't had any noticeable symptoms or problems in the last few months and would certainly have not gone to the doctors if it hadn't been for my annual check up. I had been feeling tired a bit more than often, but put that down to being an old parent and I'd been eating healthily and exercising, but not really losing weight or fat. There had been some Park Runs that I had to pull out of, one after just one kilometre.
Could it be that having this issue sorted out (for now) and my spleen hopefully returning to a normal size that I might actually end up feeling good? Might blood cancer actually be bad for you?
I am keen to get as fit as I can after this experience, just as I did five years ago (and though I slipped a couple of times, I have been in good shape for more of those five years than not). I can already fit into a lot of clothes that I haven't worn for a while and I am now less than 53 weeks from 60, so it's probably worth making a proper effort to stay on top of things this time.
I reckon I need to stay alive until I am 75 for the sake of my family and after that all bets are off. and though 2042 feels like a long way away, sixteen years does not feel like a very long time. Especially given how fast the last sixteen years have gone.
But if the devil cares to turn up with a contract that can guarantee 75 - and no tricks or traps Satan, like I am alive but in a coma - then I will sign.
I will also sign if God turns up with a contract - no favouritism here. It's just that God never does that, only the devil. God asks you to sacrifice your son, which I am not going to do mate, even if I think you're going to intervene at the last second. You might have made the Universe mate, but that doesn't give you the right to fuck around and fight for people's affection. Obviously I love my son more than you and if you can't cope with that then you need to have a look at yourself. Plenty of people really love you in spite of all the shit you've thrown over the last few thousand years, so stop being so needy.
No guarantees sadly. And tune into my blog in 2042 to see how I feel about dying that year (if, you know, I haven't pegged it already). Three score years and ten and five is a perfectly acceptable amount of time to be alive though. So be happy with it future Rich. And if you didn't like it then why did you sign that contract with Satan?
My bad. That was me. Enjoy Hell, sucker.
