Warming Up

8653/21572

My secret guest turned out to be Daniel Sloss, who was a bit confused about why he had had to remain secret, but was a fine, funny and thoughtful guest. The shows continue to be a pleasure and today I had fun away from the show too and did some socialising. I have probably got the balance of solitude versus catching up with pals slightly askew this year, but maybe only by a day.

Sarah Millican was in town seeing shows and we decided to catch a couple together. Sarah and my relationship is very like what you get on stage when she does RHLSTP, but perhaps a little more affection. We've both had some tough things to get through this year and it turns out death and disease are the only times we allow ourselves to admit our deep affection for one another. And only for a second or two. We both know comedy is the answer to nearly everything.

If box office returns, DVD sales and audience laughter are any judge of who is funniest, then Sarah is by far the better comedian. Of course, none of those things really matter and I am best. You can't trust an audience on stuff like this. She is however a formidable force for good and ambitious and driven without being a (total) cunt and full of wisdom. I am best though as all the podcasts we've done together have clearly proven.

We went to see Celia Pacquola's last performance of this Fringe. "Gift Horse" is my favourite show of this year - just brilliantly constructed, full of great jokes and routines with some proper truths about relationships and what makes them work, plus an ending that made me cry a little bit. We bumped into John-Luke Roberts, Bec Hill and Sofie Hagan there and so there was a little gang of comedians laughing together at the back of the theatre. I do like hanging out with comedians. Even though I also like to avoid hanging out with comedians.

Sarah and I then went to see rising star Madeleine Brettingham in a packed tiny room at the Gilded Balloon where there was almost zero leg room (we were again in the back row). Again very glad to see that there's a healthy trend amongst newer comics to push the boundaries of taste, whilst still not being a (total) cunt and this was a rare dead dad show where the dead dad was not beloved. There were many brilliant jokes and lines and some astonishingly inventive images created. Another cracking show. Everything I've seen has been at the very least excellent. Don't listen to the other old men, comedy is much better now than it was in the olden days.

Sarah and I walked back the same way to our accommodation. Would this be the moment where the flirting ended and we finally got off with each other (which I know is Sarah's greatest wish, and that's why she is so mean to me). Sadly I had to let her down. And she stopped off to get some chips and I decided against that. I haven't made many healthy decisions since about day 4 of the Fringe, but at least I was better than Sarah (as usual) here.

Then as I walked down the Royal Mile alone I started to think that maybe chips were a great idea. I was going to pass the Clamshell, which I first visited 39 years ago. Although I'd never really liked brown sauce it was clear back then that it was the height of English stupidity to ask for salt and vinegar, so we always got salt and soss (sauce). And to be fair to the Scotch who don't always get it right when it comes to culinary delights, salt and soss whilst you're actually in Scotland is actually fantastic,

I went in and bought medium chips for just five fucking pounds and asked for salt and soss. I don't think the men serving in the Clamshell are Scots these days and the man said "salt and brown sauce?" and I said yes. I could probably have had vinegar like a normal person.

But I have to tell you that Millican has at least got one thing right. Chips was the perfect call tonight. The Proustian rush of that combination of warmth, salt and a sauce that I only associate with Edinburgh made me feel so happy.

It's always the things away from the shows that I like the most and eating those chips as I tried to make my way through the crowds on North Bridge was the best thing that's happened to me at the Fringe this year.

I really liked today, but the fact that I'll be home in two days also really helped.