Bit of a blank today. Catie was going to a spa and the kids were at their grandparents for most of the day, so after we’d got them fed and ready and they’d been picked up I went back to bed. I had an extra three hours sleep - much needed after last night’s gig- and woke up just before midday. It was amazing. Never get married and never reproduce. And never go out in case you accidentally get married or reproduce.
Sadly you need to have kids to be able to fully appreciate what it is not to have kids. You can do what you want any time and take it all for granted. So my advice is have kids, live with them for a few years and then leave and start up a new life under a false identity.
Maybe I should have done something productive with my time, but the most I could manage was a visit to the supermarket and then a bit of tidying. The kids got back and I was really pleased to see them again. I missed them. Being alone is great when you are never alone, but believe me I spent enough time alone in the 1990s to know how awful it is. And how great it is to just grow your own friends out of discarded semen.
Admittedly the friends are very childish and you have to do a lot for them and they do fuck all for you, but at least they really make you appreciate time to yourself in a way you never did when you had endless time to yourself.
We had some fun before bed time. I started reading Greg Jenner’s new book, You Are History with my daughter. We laughed together - Phoebe particularly enjoyed the story of a medieval man called Richard who died falling into his own toilet - but then she’s always found it funny imagining Richard’s falling into things. And I suppose poo is better than lava. Well maybe not.
Catie is away overnight (I am pretty sure she’s having an affair, but I don’t mind - she deserves to be happy and I am planning on leaving and creating a new identity) and so I did bedtime alone, but I think they behave better when it’s just one of us as they can’t play us off against each other. I read Ernie a book about China and then started reading Greg Jenner’s new book, You Are History
with Phoebe. We laughed together - Phoebe particularly enjoyed the story of a medieval man called Richard who died falling into his own toilet - but then she’s always found it funny imagining Richard’s falling into things
. And I suppose your own poo is better way to die than lava.
Well maybe not. At least lava is quick and you don't choke on faeces. Your own or not, that's not great.