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We cleared out our kitchen cupboard today, finding loads of stuff that is past its use by or sell by date. A lot of stuff that went off in 2021, some in 2020, even a few 2019ers. Given we’ve only lived her for 6 years that’s quite impressive. And I have to say that nearly all the stuff that was past its sell by date was stuff that Catie had bought. In fact, I think it all was. I know what I’ve bought and I make sure I eat it, but she had some weird stuff that she must have thought she was going to use when she bought it, but there was no fucking way. Weirdest one - a jar of jack fruit. I don’t know what that is and it looked horrible. And it went straight in the food bin. Other stuff I would have eaten if I’d known we had it - two jars of sun-dried tomatoes. I love those little fuckers. Would’ve lapped them up. In fact after tipping one jar into the food bin I thought “What am I doing?” Those things don’t go off. And I kept the other jar for future consumption.
Same with two packs of Supernoodles, where you couldn’t quite read the sell by date, but it was 2021 at the latest and might have been 2012. Catie bought these a few years back, maybe in a fit of nostalgia for being a student, but ate a couple and then not these two. I don’t think I’ve had supernoodles this millennium. I threw out one pack and as I emptied into the food bin (though wasn’t sure it actually qualified to be in there) I thought, there is no way that this stuff can “go off”. You could eat this in a thousand years time and it would still technically be as OK to eat as it would be new. Which is not very OK. But it won’t harm you. I decided I wouldn’t waste the second pack. Even though it was BBQ beef flavour which I knew would be horrible. I had it for my dinner. And just as when I was a student, I made the meal slightly healthier by adding some frozen peas to the pan (I didn’t think the sun dried tomatoes would work, but in hindsight am wondering if I was wrong about that - maybe I should have just mixed all the forgotten food together to make the greatest stir fry ever). It goes surprisingly well. I ate it all up and it wasn’t nice at all. But it wasn’t off. And I survived. And had it killed me, it would have been worth it.
And tonight there was another episode of
Twitch of Fun in which my daughter once again proved how imaginative and funny she is and Ally went on an incredible rant about the shards of Christ’s cross that was being put into the Coronation Crucifix - and why we are paying for any of this at all. If anyone was watching this stuff it could cause a revolution. Don’t worry he sings some filthy music hall songs too, so he hasn’t gone completely Bill Hicks. Maybe he should though.
