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I confidently predicted in Christ on a Bike that there would an iPhone 6, but never an iPhone 7. And yet it seems I am going to be proved wrong (though is it really a phone if it doesn't have a headphone jack?) I can console myself with the fact that no one could have been expected to see this coming.
My writing pilot light is back on and I am feeling inspired and excited about all that lies ahead. And more importantly I feel like I want to write again. I am not sure of the last time I really felt this way. The dent to my confidence that came with “I Killed Rasputin†didn't help, but maybe it goes back further than that. But knowing I can get my (shorter) ideas made thanks to AIOTM and having the Radio 4 commission to make something that will actually be broadcast has helped. Today I had a go at a sketch based on my supposed “Red Indian†spirit guide, which I've always felt there was a bit more to. I sent it into the guy who I wanted to direct that one and he agreed, but made a couple of suggestions that made us both think there might be more than a sketch or even a series of sketches in it. Even though it was hardly a priority and I have loads of other things that needed to be done more urgently, inspiration had struck and I spent the rest of the day hammering away on my keyboard and by the end of it all I had written 27 pages of a screenplay. That kind of excitement and focus with an idea is rare, and rarer still as I have got older and there's every chance that this is self-indulgent claptrap (and it draws heavily on my life and a routine I've already done, so it's not quite as impressive in terms of output), but the important thing is good or bad, saleable or not, that I was enjoying writing again and doing it for pleasure, not out of a grudging feeling that I had to get something done or with a dreaded feeling that I was wasting my time because the thing would never be made. It was great. I felt like a writer again. And I know that might sound crazy because I've written a lot since my last broadcast TV script (almost 10 years ago now), but I feel like I am ready to go again now.
It's amazing to have my brain buzzing with ideas again. Bits of dialogue for Relativity pop into my brain when I am trying to sleep, an idea for a quick, stupid sketch for AIOTM fizzles to life on the screen, almost before I have had the idea for it. Sometimes I have felt hard done by and unlucky as a writer, because I think I've had some good scripts that haven't been made, but a tiny flick of a switch in my brain is enough to make me realise I have been incredibly lucky as well. I am still here, still writing, still getting paid and I've had loads of things made (if not for a while). That makes me luckier than maybe 90% of people who want to do this job. And much of my sluggardly progress has been down to my own outlook and fear of failure and laziness (or writer's block or whatever you want to call it). It's hard to control that switch between negativity and positivity and it's easy to blame anyone but yourself, search out nepotism or clueless executives or everyone in the world being too stupid to spot your genius. But mostly this stuff comes down to you. You need some talent and some luck, but it's an incredibly competitive business and if you're not prepared to work as hard as the people who are getting the jobs and to put your disappointments behind you (and learn from them) then you're not going to get anywhere. There's no guarantee that a positive mental attitude and hard work will get you anywhere - you might actually not be any good, despite your self-belief, or you might just be unlucky (so much of it is about timing and being in the right place at the right time), but you're not going to make it if you decide there's no point in trying because you're doomed to failure.
Perhaps all the work today was a waste of valuable time. Perhaps I'll read through the script today and think it's self-indulgent and weird. But the psychological boost is more important. I have something to work on with a beginning and an end and some fun stuff to explore in the middle. It's a bit quirky and cynical, but ultimately quite soppy. I mean, how can that fail?
This can be a tough career as anyone unfortunate to have trudged through this entire blog over the last 13 years will attest. But you know what no people say, "the trudge makes the fudge". That's a saying that will not take off. And sounds like it means something else. Which is probably closer to the truth
The RHLSTP with Russell Kane is now up in the usual places. And names are starting to get filled in for the new series. Monthly badgers have already been told about the big name guests for the first two weeks, but a couple more have gone in the diary today. I will start to reveal them to the non-badge scum next week. I have a feeling we're going to have the best line-ups yet, so worth taking a punt on any of the shows.
And we're closing in on the halfway point of the kickstarter total and the 1000th backer. It could be you Please spread the word to anyone who you think might be interested.
For a chance to win two front seat luxury tickets to AIOTM (you will be served stuff by Emma and Dan and probably feature in the show too) then please RT this tweet by the end of play on Thursday. Make sure you're available to see the show though.
