7284/19804
I watched England beat Pakistan in the World Cup of very short games of cricket. I’m worried Ben Stokes didn’t actually complete that final run and someone might run back on and run him out. Even now, hours after the trophy has been handed over, someone in the Pakistan team might spot that he never put his bat in the crease and knock off the bails. Then they can now the remaining few balls at unguarded stumps and walk away victorious. Or it would at least be a draw. Which isn’t as good as winning.
Hopefully he did it and the cameras just didn’t show it, but he seemed more concerned with running backwards and pulling a funny face then getting on with the serious business of completing the winning run. Come on Stokes, you can run backwards all you want once the game is over, but it’s a very silly way to behave during actual matchplay. What if you bumped in to someone or tripped up? Obviously as a comedian it’s my job to run backwards and pull funny faces and hopefully fall over, but let me tell you, the minute the final whistle has blown (the only way to let my audience know the event is over) I walk forwards and my face remains unfunny. Because, unlike you, I take my job seriously.
I think Stokes should be sacked for this risky silliness. Get in touch if you agree.
Tonight we watched Joe Lycett’s excellent new stand up special “More More More etc”. It’s one of the best comedy shows I’ve seen starting from a couple of things that have annoyed or angered Joe - one petty and selfish, an estate agent friend telling him he’d paid a bit more for his house than he should have and one more noble, fighting against an MP who wants to ban books about gay parents from schools and weaving all of this into a brilliant demonstration of what you can achieve if you bother trying and the power of community. It’s very funny all the way through, but also rather moving and inspiring. I was saying the other day that I didn’t understand why people with lots of money don’t spend it on things that either help others or just on funny/weird pranks. Joe isn’t a billionaire (I don’t think) but has enough money and influence to do some crazy stuff (that also usually has a purpose) like getting the Lord-Mayor of Birmingham to open his new kitchen extension. He seems to have a lovely time getting drunk, having fun and then spending way too much of his time and energy on ridiculous stunts, but they are the sort of pranks that have positive outcomes. It’s terrific. It’s well worth 75 minutes of your time and ten pounds of your money. And if you have another £10 you can watch him and the guys from ghosts LIVE online on Monday night by visiting gfsboxoffice.com (you can watch it later if you prefer). This should be an absolute cracker. I gave the dog a late night walk. It was cold and foggy and even with a torch it was very creepy on the dark fields behind my house. I had laughed at Ernie for thinking there were paedo ghosts on the rec, but as soon as the dog had done a wee I was very keen to head back to the house (and I may have imagined it, but Wolfie seemed spooked too). When I’d first done these late night walks four or five years ago, I’d fancied that my torch light had briefly picked up a mum coming up the bridleway with two kids holding her hands, but when I looked again a second later, no one was there. I mean, I probably imagined it, right? But I did shine my torch into the distance terrified I’d see her again, yet still unable to stop looking. I didn’t say her name 12 times in a row though. Unless that woman’s name is also Wolfie, in which case I am fucked.
