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Phoebe listened to the intro and then excitedly said, "Is this
Baby Shark?"
Take that Depeche! Dave Gahan does dance a bit like Grandma Shark to be fair.
How dare she be so disrespectful of my musical heritage?
I know parents are supposed to pretend that having to look after your own kids is a terrible nightmare, but the second day of the school holidays was lots of fun. Check back in six weeks to see how I am feeling then.
At one point this afternoon Phoebe said to me "I'm sorry I was so mean to you when I was five or six."
Sometimes you have to wait for five years for an apology,
I don't know why she thought that she'd been mean- I mean she did predict my death and wish that I would fall into lava and rarely if ever hug me or tell me that she loved me, but none of that matters. I found most of it funny and I loved her enough for both of us and as much as I wanted hugs and declarations of love from my little girl, I reluctantly accepted her right to autonomy. To be fair she was reticent with everyone but her mum and I was confident that she'd come round to me when she realised how fucking awesome I am. I was delighted to be the father of such a funny, sparky kid.
It was a surprise to get an apology but mainly a surprise that she had any awareness that my feelings might have been bruised. I haven't talked about it a lot in front of her, but have mentioned it, mainly to laugh at it. Little offhand comments can have a big impact on kids. Catie and I had been talking about some unexpected expenses the other day and a couple of days later at bedtime Phoebe had told me she was thinking of ways to make money so that she could help us out. I told her she didn't need to worry about anything and that we had her covered until she was 18, but after that she could give us as much money as she could spare.
And as ridiculous as it is for perfectly normal kid behaviour from five years ago to play on her mind now, it's another indication that we've somehow produced a thoughtful and empathetic person. She does tell me she loves me now (I knew I'd win her round) and I told her that I knew she loved me all along really. I'm pleased that she's grown up in an environment where she's encouraged to be her authentic self, even if that results in her expressing understandable antipathy to her idiotic dad.
It was often, though not always, a joke or an attempt at humour or cheekiness or testing boundaries and I really want my kids to feel safe to make jokes with me. As long as the jokes are good and not too hack then I am pleased to be the butt of them. Just like in my career, I suppose.
Later Phoebe was keen to do my nails and I let her do one hand and they looked pretty good with blue sparkly nail varnish. When she does this I always let it chip off naturally. It's lovely to look at my nails and think of my daughter, but also I was never the kind of guy to experiment with make-up or subverting gender norms and having one slightly flamboyant hand makes me feel quite the rebel.
Has it awakened something in me? That's not for me to say just yet, but it might be the start of a journey of discovery. That will probably go as far as me having all my nails painted. Just on my hands. I'm not that rebellious.
